2003-03-21 - 12:49 p.m.
who am i
well , things are not workin , i seen where i stood yesterday when they showed i am about to remove my self from this problem , i am sorry but u cant ask me to do this , i am not gonna come in between u an ur friends . i also notice how u look at don , an how much u have a crush on him , i think thats really fucked up , pretty much made my mind up what to do wit u , well here goes ....Sian i like u alot , but things are not gonna work , i am going to be leaving in about 3 months , an i have to go alone , i had somone show up at my place last night from Texas , offering a bunch , i said yes , these arnt the type of people u say no too , annyways , i am sayin , its over , no excuses , thats just the way it is , has to be an will be , if u show up , i am gonna tell u to ur face , but i am tryin to save u a trip an the gas money , sorry , i hope something works out for u , an u aquire some insite an back bone , untill that happens i cant be wit u , u have alot to change , if u come back well i guess it was ment to be , but i dont think it is , u have fun wit ur friends , i am gonna do the poof i am gone bit , please try to stay away from me , i hate to do this , but it solves problems , it was rather fun ... just to bad u cant make up your own mind an i seen this yesterday , u come frist wit me an i apparently come second wit u , so its over , have a good one
Bye bye
Philip
shike_ko: hello
darling: sup
darling: don still wit u
darling: did u get my mail ?
shike_ko: yeah he's crashed on the floor
shike_ko: i just now am opening it
darling: ok
darling: read
shike_ko: ok
darling: i realized some things
shike_ko: ah hell no
darling: what ?
darling: thats the way it is
darling: i seen what happend wit ur friends
darling: so i am removeing my self from the situation
shike_ko: no there is no problem
darling: well
darling: thats how i feel
shike_ko: i'm telling you dopnn't
darling: an thats what i want to happen
darling: u have alot of thinking an things to do
shike_ko: no
darling: b4 we can do annything
darling: so , if u show up at my house , i will try to explain this to u ,
darling: dont expect too much
darling: i am done fighting over u wit ur friends
shike_ko: there is no more fighting
darling: we can be friends , but its apparnt that a relation ship is not gonna work out between us
darling: nahh , heather said soem fucked up shit to my mom
shike_ko: i spent all of the time when i got here to talk to them that
darling: oh well
shike_ko: what did she say
darling: they want control
darling: they have it
shike_ko: noi
darling: yes
shike_ko: no
darling: yes
darling: u have alot of thinking to do ,
darling: i know u have a crush on don
darling: i watched it
darling: an some BIG things need to be changed b4 i can be wit u
shike_ko: on don
darling: yeah
darling: but
darling: i dont kare
darling: me an u , are not goning to work
darling: i am sorry
darling: but its too many problems
shike_ko: how do you know that
darling: an i am moveing to Texas in about 3 months
darling: so i am doing this now
shike_ko: why are you giving up so easily
darling: insted of dragging u along
shike_ko: who's in texas
darling: i am not
shike_ko: you are too
darling: i am tired of makeing the effort an being the onlyone
darling: i have family that are setting me up wit work , an going back to what i used to do
darling: an have to go back alone
shike_ko: ............
darling: well
darling: next subject
darling: is don gonna be comming back to nashville ?
darling: i am not mad at him
shike_ko: i'm going to be there tomorrow
shike_ko: screw don
darling: if u want
darling: i wont be around
shike_ko: philip
darling: thats my name
shike_ko: you're going to texas in three months
darling: yeppers
darling: 3-5 months
shike_ko: ok............supposedly we will be somewhere in three months
darling: dont try to fallow me
darling: i am about to go poof im gone
shike_ko: there's no need to tell me
shike_ko: and why poof why not just the fact that you're moving
darling: cause
darling: i have too poof
darling: things have rapidly changed
shike_ko: from who
darling: i am sorry
darling: lots of shit
shike_ko: don't be sorry
shike_ko: baby....
darling: u just dont need to be involved
darling: less headake an worrie
darling: so its over
darling: we can be friends
darling: buti wont be around too much
shike_ko: no don't say it's over
darling: yep
shike_ko: just....it's that...
shike_ko: no i mean it
darling: well how else is it to be
darling: u wanna show up at my house
darling: i'll watch u cry as i break up wit u if u want
shike_ko: the next time we see each other i still want us to be able to be together some time
darling: dont think thats gonna happen
shike_ko: no....what we'll do is break the bottle as soon as
darling: i am going back to being a loner
shike_ko: one of us leaves first
darling: ahh no
darling: its my bottle
shike_ko: ok then i'll watch you break it
darling: no u wont
shike_ko: ....
shike_ko: you broke it already
darling: no
darling: are u gonna be ok ?
shike_ko: i'm going to miss you terribly
darling: i need to know when don , is comming back to nashville
shike_ko: tomorrow
darling: bout what time
shike_ko: i don't know.....
darling: ok
shike_ko: i'm sorry
darling: dont be
darling: its not u
darling: things have rapidly changed
shike_ko: the hell it isn't
darling: i am leaveing i have to go alone , an the control shit wit heather
darling: i am just gonna let them control u
shike_ko: what did she say to your mom
darling: oh yeah i have lights again
shike_ko: and why
shike_ko: that's great
darling: why what ?
shike_ko: why did she have to do that
darling: uh ?
darling: i'm lost
shike_ko: it's bad enough as it is
shike_ko: this is what happened
shike_ko: i got in the car hating every minute of it
darling: oh well
darling: its over
darling: i am sorry SIan
darling: but this is the way i have to do things for me
shike_ko: ....and as soon as i got here heather started packing her stuff and said that she was going to leave
darling: oh well
darling: good luck
darling: we can be friends
darling: but the lovers thing is not gonna work
shike_ko: why
shike_ko: i still love
darling: i know
darling: but , i cant
shike_ko: you hate mej
darling: i need to be alone
darling: no its not that
shike_ko: tell me
darling: my situation has entirely changed
shike_ko: explain
darling: an , well i dont need annyone wit me
darling: i really cant
shike_ko: i don't care if you're miles away
darling: let me guss ur fryin
darling: look
darling: its just not gonna work
shike_ko: ....no i'm sick to my stomach
darling: ur friend ship is fallin apart becuse of me
darling: i am sorry
darling: i am stepping to the side
shike_ko: no it wasn't you
darling: i seen how heather treated u
darling: an well
darling: i sy fuck it
shike_ko: i'd say fuck it too if it wasn't that i don't want to lose anybody
shike_ko: but instead you're running off
shike_ko: so fuck it
darling: if u wanna call it that
darling: ok
shike_ko: you have my email
darling: well i wont torcher u
shike_ko: i have yours
darling: i will let u go
shike_ko: no it's fine
shike_ko: we're back to being friends
darling: ok
shike_ko: so you better email me buddy
darling: well i am gonna let u go
shike_ko: your hour up?
darling: no
shike_ko: ?????
darling: just dont know what to talk about wit u
shike_ko: it don't matter
darling: u gonna be ok ?
shike_ko: yes
darling: that was rather easy on u then i expected
shike_ko: i'm concerned about you...i'll be fine
darling: dont be
shike_ko: i already cried when they picked me up
shike_ko: i cant anymore
darling: did u know this was comming ?
shike_ko: philip...you're my friend....of course i'm going to worry about you
shike_ko: yes i did
darling: dont worrie
darling: i will be fine
darling: so where is heather moveing too ?
shike_ko: i knew as soon as i was happy there it would blow to pieces
darling: u can thank ur friends , thats why i am walking away
darling: there too damn controling
shike_ko: i don't fucking know....where ever the navy sends her
darling: were at war
darling: well what u gonna do ?
shike_ko: just my luck...
shike_ko: if it falls through i either move to Jupiter Florida
shike_ko: or Crawfordsville Indiana or Seymour Indiana
darling: ur gonna do that annyway
darling: i can tell
shike_ko: cause i hurt your feelings...i can't ask you to come with me......
darling: u did not hurt my feelings
shike_ko: i did too
darling: no u did not
shike_ko: why else would you have decided to go to texas
darling: its just not going to work
darling: cause
darling: more money , family , drugs
darling: i am going back to what i used to do
darling: i should be right in about 10 months
darling: an i have to do this alone
shike_ko: is your mom going too?
darling: probly
darling: Ah kittie
shike_ko: ......
darling: so
darling: what u wanna talk about
shike_ko: i was going to muck around on my websites
darling: bgye
darling: so ur not comming to my house tomorrow to are u
shike_ko: tomorrow yes
darling: why ?
shike_ko: why not
darling: cus
darling: i really dont wanna see u to be honest
shike_ko: well i think it would be better to see you
darling: why ?
shike_ko: so i can give you your tape
darling: give it to don
darling: he can give it to me
shike_ko: and so i can give you a hug goodbye since you want to go cold turkey on me
darling: lol
darling: no i am just sayin
darling: u have alot to change
darling: for things to work
darling: an i dont think u can do it
darling: u fucked up an did not go to man power wit me
shike_ko: so what if i just fucking walk away from all of this.....
darling: so u moveing it wit me is out of the question
darling: thats fine
darling: thats what i expected u to do
darling: damn my friends were right
darling: funniie
shike_ko: don't do that
darling: bye
darling: dont come to see me
darling: it wont happen
shike_ko: i will find you and at least say good bye
darling: no u wont
darling: this is good bye
shike_ko: you...................
darling: well
darling: good bye
shike_ko: i'll see you around..............
shike_ko: bye
darling: no u wont
shike_ko: fine go off and bury your self in whatever you find
shike_ko: i hope you're happy
darling: no
shike_ko: i will still love you
darling: dont
darling: i am an ass
darling: i know
darling: but it was not working
shike_ko: you don't fucking understand
darling: heather was too much of a problem
darling: u did not even try to stand up to her in front of me
darling: so if u cant put forth anny effort , why should i
shike_ko: i told you even if you marry someone else i'll still love you
darling: ok here is the dea l
shike_ko: that's fine by me
darling: u want a change , an a chance ?
shike_ko: i am a worthless piece of crap that you should have never me
shike_ko: t
shike_ko: i want you to know that i still love you
darling: dont say that
darling: why
darling: i am being a toltal ass
darling: i yeah i know it
darling: but it has to be done
shike_ko: i want change.....that's why i'm here with my friends...
darling: ok
darling: well , u need to set ur self up
shike_ko: but now it's no good
darling: then we can think about us
darling: if i am still here
shike_ko: ....3 months
darling: yep
darling: u got 3 months
shike_ko: so can i at least give you your tape in person
darling: i dont know
darling: so do u know about when u will be around here tomorrow it don , an is don commin to stay wit me
darling: bye the way tresa almost got arrested last night
darling: u say u want to talk an ur not there now
darling: ok well i am outtie
darling: bye
shike_ko: ....supposedly he is....everyone is to go to rockymount and get his stuff and then he
darling: ok
shike_ko: ok just email me later
darling: no
darling: i dont plan on it
shike_ko: why not
darling: what do we have to talk about ?
shike_ko: it doesn't matter
darling: well i wont be e-mailing u
shike_ko: we always been able to talk
darling: u can mail me
darling: yeah
shike_ko: but you won't respond
darling: but , i dont do friend ships after relaionships , it never works
shike_ko: ah what the fuck
darling: hu ?
shike_ko: how in the hell am i su
shike_ko: saretdfg;lkrejjhger'oalgjera
shike_ko: ...
shike_ko: fine fuck it fuck it all
shike_ko: i'll see someone at your house tomorrow or not
shike_ko: it was nice to know you're still alive
shike_ko: love you
shike_ko: bye
darling: still there ?
shike_ko: ...
shike_ko: now what
darling: then never mind
darling: fuck it
shike_ko: what tell me please
darling: i hope u have a good life , maybe one day u can make up ur own mind , thats why i am leaving u , is cause u cant make desisions
darling: an i cant stand bye that
darling: an i have learned i am just too damn independent
shike_ko: lucky you
darling: its a curse
darling: not luck
darling: thats for damn sure
darling: an i seen the way u look at don
darling: whats wit that ?
shike_ko: i look at everyone that way
darling: no u dont
shike_ko: ok you want to know why
darling: >-
darling: )
shike_ko: i miss my dad
darling:
darling:
shike_ko: and don reminds me of my dad
shike_ko: so he's like an uncle or whatever you know
darling: ok
shike_ko: or like an older brother
darling: so what are u gonna do ?
shike_ko: go be sick for 3 months
darling: why '
darling: what for
shike_ko: get a job....
darling: when is heather leaving ?
shike_ko: why cause in order to keep my friends happy i lost you
darling: thats right
darling: thats exactly what happend
darling: i seen where i stood when u walked out wit them , did not even try to stand up an speak ur pice
darling: thats why i am breaking up wit u
darling: the whole damn reson
darling: u would not even do that if i asked u to
darling: an i know this
darling: ahh C.O.F.
darling: still there ?
shike_ko: ...
darling: what ?
shike_ko: so i have three months
darling: to do what ?
darling: i am going to texas
darling: an i have to go alone
shike_ko: .....to save up and leave...leave everyone for a while...
darling: good luck wit that
darling: find urself
darling: thats what u need to do
darling: thats why i am walkin away sian
darling: u need to figure out who u are
shike_ko: thanks
darling: i already know
darling: smart ass
darling: so does this mean u wanna have break up sex
darling: lmafo
shike_ko: what else can i do
darling: being a smart ass
shike_ko: yes
darling: jk
darling: icant
darling: why dont u do some thinking
darling: when u figure out who u are
darling: come to my house
shike_ko: i did
darling: then maybe u should be tryin to tell me a few things then hu ?
shike_ko: i spent the whole time....trying to figure out how to tell my friends that i wanted to be with you
darling: n?
shike_ko: and i couldn't ....so you don't need me....
darling: exactly
darling: ur right , i knew u could not
darling: bye
shike_ko: bye
darling: i am leavein on this note
darling: that really erks me
Yahoo! Messenger: darling has logged out. (3/21/03 12:18 PM)
i hate me