older thoughts....

space monkey learn to fly

I dared to make a move to a

distant place to learn distant things

So far i've been missing improperly smoking and not me

knowing that i'm me

jealous and alone

in the company of others

what would I do in the company of myself?

I long for someone to fill the extra bed space

is there someone just for me

how can i find them when i can't break away from it all

i try to go out and actually do nothing for anyone else

think nothing

jarred rhythem

everything seems almost forced together

i had something just for me and it was taken away

murder is extroverted suicide

i want this intangible moment but it's so hard to find

so many words and yet my grasp is few

a happening

the action takes place

there is no pale comparison to what one expected

there is no only pure feeling/sensation

there is void

a happening among many again and again

a moment is rare

trying to just be quite/quiet

trying to fit in but distanced

by other actions don't really

care to but I do for others

sake head pounding tired of smelling

drugged air tired of hearing that I should

do this I'm acting this way and I'm

not this It is my body my head and my heart I know

whats going on with me don't tell

me otherwise so lonely out of sync

trying to find some similarity to work upon

but I can't cause everyone else is

my head hurts took some "medicine"

that I didn't want to take which

has and still is messing up my system

passed out for a day and a headache today

that was some couple of days ago...

i should have not let myself get so far behind

i have pictures on a computer in the hands of some one who i don't know has deleted them

lots of them i've found on sites in several languages....at say 4 a.m.ish

not good

i am about to restart my taichi

i'm hungry

i have neon cloud colored wings